Monday, May 21, 2012

Stupid Caller Monday

Caller: I'd like talk to someone about my taxes.
Me: Real Estate, Probate, or corporate?
Caller: My personal taxes.
Me: Sir, you need to call an accountant.
Caller: Why?
Me: This is a lawyers office Sir. An accountant/CPA can help you with any questions you have about your personal taxes.
Caller: This is some
Me: Thankfully I can't smell your bullshit through the phone.

Caller: Uh someone called me from this number.
Me: Are you being seen for landlord tenant, civil, residential and commercial real estate, Wills, Trusts, Estates and probate, corporate and business law, or Estate planning and Elder Law matters?
Caller: Uh....I don't know who called me.
Me: (cringing and grinding teeth to keep from being rude.)
Me: Sir did the person who called you leave a message? Everyone is at lunch right now.
Caller: Uh yeah.
Me: Sir can you give me your name and phone number, hang up and listen to the voice message and call me back with the name of the caller so I know who to direct your call to.
Caller: Uh yeah. Okay. (click)
Me: (Where the hell are my motrin)
Caller: I'd like to speak to someone about a landlord/Tenant issue.
Me: Attorney blah blah has a consultation fee of blah blah and applies the consultation fee towards your bill if you hire her to represent you....
Caller: I'm a disabled person I want a free consultation.
Me: We don't have free consultations.
Caller: Do you know the number of an attorney who handles disabled persons for free.
Me: No Ma'am. I can give you the number to Virginia Lawyer Referral they may be able to help you.
Caller: I tried them already they want $35.00 for a 1/2 hour consultation with an attorney.
Me: Perhaps you can try the Legal Aid Society of Virginia.
Caller: Maybe you can answer my questions.
Me: Ma'am I am not an attorney. It is against the law for me to give legal advice.  Would you like the number to Legal Aid I googled it for you.
Caller: Click.